I´m deploying my database to a SQL Server 2008 R2 Express instance that my software also installs. Everything works fine, but on certain target machines there are other instances of SQL Server 2008, 2005, 2000...I know that, theoretically, SQL Server instances may coexist side-by-side. But I also know that there are several conflicts between them. Internet is full of them.
My most common symptom is: server protocols are not installed with a previous installed SQL Server 2008 instance (from other vendor). In SQL Server Configuration Manager, under "SQL Server Network Configuration", the item "Protocols for 'MyInstance'" is just missing. So any client machine can connect to server.
I´d like to minimize the visits to clients house and make my application as self-deployable as possible. Is there something I can do to avoid or resolve instances conflicts? Any advice? Am I wishing for something impossible?
You probably will want to read up on what versions can live on the same server/client:
Working With Multiple Versions and Instances of SQL Server
Work with Multiple Versions and Instances of SQL Server
Both of these links have the chart regarding what side-by-side installs are supported, the second though also includes a little bit more regarding the components and those that will be upgraded to the highest release installed.
With the issue you spoke of with SSCM this can be caused by many things, most of them revolve around a corrupted installation of the management tools; or I mostly see issues with WMI calls on the client. Since most of those settings are available within the registry I would suggest looking at that side to get your instance configured and locked down.
You might also look at SQL Server Compact Edition. It is developed as an embeded database that does not require install of the full SQL Server managemnet tools. You have the same API and controlls that come with full version of SQL Server, just a "compact" install. I have interacted with one application that used it but have not done any development with it.