I know this has been asked to death, and I know why SQL Server doesn't let you do it.
But is there any workaround for this, other than using Extended Stored Procedures?
And please don't tell me to convert my function into a procedure...
So what I'm really asking is: Is there ANY way to run a Stored Procedure from within a Function?
EDIT:
Point proven: there is a way around it, but it's so WRONG I wouldn't do it. I'm gonna change it to a Stored Procedure and execute it elsewhere.
EDIT: I haven't tried this, so I can't vouch for it! And you already know you shouldn't be doing this, so please don't do it. BUT...
Try looking here: http://sqlblog.com/blogs/denis_gobo/archive/2008/05/08/6703.aspx
The key bit is this bit which I have attempted to tweak for your purposes:
DECLARE @SQL varchar(500)
SELECT @SQL = 'osql -S' +@@servername +' -E -q "exec dbName..sprocName "'
EXEC master..xp_cmdshell @SQL